Goodbye Mario ~Letter to My Baby’s Daddy

We were two teenagers running wild. We had known each other since the 7th grade but didn’t take notice of one another until our senior year of high school. Not quite sure what sparked this interest, but what my memory tells me is that we both told a mutual friend of our interest and it was on from there.

Though we didn’t have the “couple” title, I had no idea you were messing around with not one but two other girls. Maybe even more. Like me, those two girls would also end up pregnant. Needless to say, by the time I caught wind of this info, you and I were no longer. So when you called me asking if the baby was yours, I lied because of a previous conversation we’d had when you blatantly stated that if I ever got pregnant you’d deny it.

My plan was to carry on through life without you because I’d convinced myself that not me nor my baby needed you in its life. 9 months later on October 11, 1993, Reyonna Tyrashe’ D’Janeese Hollins was born. She was so beautiful. She had cocoa skin and a head full of hair…and looked exactly…like…you. My close friends knew of my “situation” and, as much I tried to deny your fatherhood, everyone around me was constantly reminding me of how much she looked like you.

Six months went by and I could no longer oblige your demand. Paternity had to be established in order for me to get on welfare. Like the Maury Show, I pinned it on another guy, who he and I both knew wasn’t his. We sat in the waiting room where I apologized for putting him through this. He was cool about the whole thing though, luckily.

Fast forward to the test results 99.99%. Just like I thought. Yet and still you sat in that private room at the Friend of the Court and denied her some more. When you exited the room I broke down and cried, in total shock that with the proof right in your face, you still wanted no part in her life.

Thankfully, you finally woke up. Your family accepted her with open arms and even saw the resemblance she had to your other kids. Through all the ups and downs we were never “beefed out.” You often said that I and one of your other baby mommas were the “cool ones.”

The last couple of years I began to see your growth as a father, wanting to make up for your spurts of absences. You contributed for Reyonna’s prom, which really meant the world to her. Not only that, you showed up at our house to see her off.

On August 28, 2012, never in a million years did we think we would be saying good bye to you forever. When I got the news, 18 years’ worth of memories flooded my mind. I just wanna say, overall, you are loved and will truly be missed.

Goodbye Mario