Aura – a distinctive air or quality considered to be characteristic of a person or thing.
What is your aura? What type of energy are you emitting?
About 10 years ago, it hit me. Even though I was told several times by different people, it finally hit me…I was exuding a sexual aura. Not in the way I dressed, which is visually obvious when we think of a sexually attractive person…like Jessica Rabbit (the only example I can think of at the moment), but in my mentality, the way I viewed certain things.
A little background
I come from a family who doesn’t show affection. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve hugged my mom, and the number of times we’ve said I LOVE YOU are even fewer than that. So, very early on, before I was a teenager, I sought attention elsewhere.
I wasn’t exposed to healthy relationships, and assumed that everyone cheated. Like, it was the norm. The thing to do. With that, I never fully committed to anyone and viewed those I came in “contact” with as sexual conquests, devoid of any real emotion.
Pair & A Spare
When I was 19 years old, a 40-year-old friend of mine told me to always have “backup.” Never rely simply on one person. I lived by this for more than half of my life.
Per my therapist, I did this because of my notion that no one is going to stick around anyway, physically, emotionally, or otherwise, so why bother getting attached. This is also known as abandonment issues…from my dad not being around and my mom not being emotionally available.
You get what you put out
I kept hopping into relationships knowing I wasn’t willing to do the work. In essence, I was unavailable. So that’s the type of people I attracted.
FOUR exes got married after we broke up
Yup, you read that right. Four. And I blamed everyone but myself. While this was a devastating blow to my self-esteem, it helped me to examine my patterns and get honest with myself. What I discovered — I got exactly what I asked for.
How I Overcame
Once I dug deep and got honest with myself, I realized not only did I not know myself, I didn’t LOVE MYSELF. When I started speaking of and believing my worth, what I deserve, what I truly want, things began to shift and align with my requests. I was no longer emitting that “sex only” energy. That “side chick” energy. That “just good enough” energy.
Now, I attract those who see me. Who see my worth. Who value me and my time…because that’s how I view ME!
When you love yourself, wholeheartedly, you will not accept anything substandard. Period. That’s how I overcame getting married on FOUR TIMES!!!
Tell me, what is your aura? What type of energy are you feeding the world?
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Remember, don’t stop until you get there. ~Phette