I swear I’ve never felt so much pain as the pain I feel since I lost my mother. Almost 8 months later and I’m still in shock.
Some days all I wanna do is lie in bed, balled up in the fetal position, and cry for days. That’s it. Not take a shower. Not get dressed. Not worry about what’s for dinner. Not go to work. Nothing. Just be left alone.
Then others days I’m amped up. Motivated & ready to propel to the next level…keep pushing forward so that I can make my mom proud, because she’s still watching me, right? Well, I feel like her spirit is around me, and I’m constantly shaping & exercising my brain and shifting my mindset to ultimately become a better me. An empowered me. A strong me. A FREE me.
I have a demon that I’m struggling to rid myself of, that keeps me up many nights thinking of creative ways to dead it. Been fighting with it for almost a year. The bottom line is I have to JUST DO IT!!! No bells and whistles. No gradual process, JUST DO IT. Cold turkey…detox style. Whenever I ask myself What would Selina do? The answer is always the same.
I’ma really need to write through this one #BczOfSelina, she wouldn’t want this for her baby girl.
*Disclaimer: My #WritingThroughIt posts are raw emotions with very little editing. I’m not super pressed about grammar, but will give the content a once over and decide accordingly if changes should be made. Just an FYI.
Phette Hollins 