Have you been seeing all of those red flag 🚩 posts? | #Day18of100

I swear. The internet is hella funny. It stay entertaining me. While some things in deez internet streets are super ridiculous, others do be having some validity to them.

The reason I chose to talk about red flags is because I’m that one who ignored tf outta them for yeeaaarrrsssss. Not only in my romantic relationships, but in all areas of my life: jobs, friendships, etc.

I saw signs of gossiping & backbiting very early on at the one job I ultimately ended up quitting because I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. And even with one of me exes, I witnessed within one week of us seeing each other the biggest flag of them all (emotional immaturity) & chose to ignore it.

I started talking to him a week before Thanksgiving. One week. We made plans to see each other after we spent time with our families & yada yada blah blah blah. Well, something came up on my end, because that’s life. My ex-husband & I alternate weeks with our daughter, & he usually keeps her on Thanksgiving but this time he couldn’t. No biggie.

I relay this info to the new guy via text like, hey, something came up. Can I get a rain check for tomorrow? I don’t get a response. Ok. Cool. I don’t think nothing of it at first. After a few hours of not hearing back from him I called. It went straight to voicemail.

The next day he responded by saying he didn’t appreciate me canceling the plans but it’s all good though he ain’t gon’ trip & blah blah blah. After ONE WEEK!!!

That fling lasted 8 months & was hands down the worst relationship I’d ever been in. Turns out, what I thought was a simple powering off of the phone or the battery dying was actually him BLOCKING ME! Yup. That’s right. One week into us dating, talking or whatever you wanna call it, he BLOCKED ME. And he would continue to do this throughout our relationship whenever he’d get mad or catch an attitude. Fucking sensitive ass Cancer man who did not know how to properly regulate his emotions.

We choose not to see certain things because then we’d have to do the grown up thing & take accountability. You know, that whole “do the best you can until you know better & when you know better DO BETTER” quote by Maya Angelou? Yeah.

That’s why, now, when shit goes left, I don’t really trip about it anymore because, 10 times outta 10, the signs were there all along.

As I heal & grow, I’m learning to honor myself & my needs. Being super mindful about what I require & what/who I attract. Making sure that I’m able to meet my own needs FIRST before asking or expecting or requiring that from someone else. That way I don’t betray, neglect, abandon myself by ignoring the red flags for the sake of connection, love or *fill in the blank*

Until next time…


Published by phettehollins

www.phettehollins.com www.facebook.com/phephi www.facebook.com/phettehollins www.twitter.com/phettehollins

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