In celebration of my 45th birthday, here are 45 things I’ve learned over the years| Phette Hollins

1. Love who you see in the mirror

2019


2. Don’t chase love(rs)
3. Forgive your parents

1977


4. Trust your intuition
5. Don’t take things personally

1991


6. Laugh a lot
7. Smile more

1997, when lime green was poppin’ 🤣


8. Be honest
9. Don’t speak when angry
10. Not everybody is your friend


11. Action speaks louder than words
12. Teach people how to treat you
13. You are enough

1992, Senior Yearbook Pic


14. Be grateful
15. Live in the moment
16. Dream big


17. Live YOUR life

2014


18. Question everything
19. Be humble & don’t judge because –It CAN Happen To You (book plug 🤣)

2011, 1st book


20. Don’t rush into things
21. Have lots of SEX


22. Read

2013, 2nd book cover


23. Invest in learning yourself
24. Speak your truth
25. Learn something teach something

2011-2012


26. Have compassion
27. Eat the damn french fries & cake

2017


28. Shoot your shot
29. Don’t gossip
30. Poverty is a mindset not a life sentence
31. Manage your money and credit wisely


32. F The Joneses
33. Own some real estate
34. In order to heal you gotta keep it real
35. Pain is information trying to tell you something

1984


36. Listen more, talk less
37. Surround yourself with like-minded people

2019


38. Pay attention to those who free their time to spend with you & those who only spend time with you in their free time
39. If it lights you up, keep it. If it dims your light, let it go

2011


40. Don’t force yourself into jeans or friendships

2013


41. Once you master peace your life will become a masterpiece
42. Closed mouths don’t get fed
43. Be helpful when you can
44. Nurture your mental health
45. Sometimes you have to jump before you’re ready

2011

Do any of these resonate? Which one(s) is your favorite? Can you add to the list?

Comment below and share with a friend.

Power of the P(*$$y): An Ode to Blanche Devereaux by Phette Hollins

I was a precocious kid, well beyond my years. I used to pick up on stuff that I probably shouldn’t have. Like, when I was 10 years old and used to watch The Golden Girls, I knew that Blanche Devereaux was pegged as a hoe and that folks tried to make her feel bad about it but she didn’t. Yet, she was still my favorite character. But I couldn’t tell anyone because, then, how would that make me look? 😳

Nobody talked to me about sex but I knew folks were having it. I found a book hidden in my mom’s room called The Joy of Sex. I was intrigued and irritated at the same time. Why? I was intrigued by the section that had hundreds of illustrations of sexual positions but irritated by the fact that I wasn’t able to see them because the pages were stapled together🤬. I guess for my safety🤷🏾‍♀️. It didn’t work, though🤣 I was able to peek at some of them lol.

I had my first orgasm at 15 and I liked it. Me and my boyfriend at the time got it in over 100 times in July 1990. Now that’s what I call aDICKted🤣

Snoop Dogg and Tha Dogg Pound got a song called Some Bomb Ass (Pussy). I was 21 when I heard the song and was told the same thing about my lady parts. That wouldn’t be the last time I would hear those words.

I didn’t know that pussy healed though until I was 40 years old and messing around with this married dude. It was then I realized that it was much deeper than just cheating and fucking.

There’s healing through words, through touch and, of course, through the intimate act itself. I saw how he came to life when I spoke life into him and how his body reacted from the simplest to the most sensuous touch.

Over the years, I attracted more souls like his and then I had an epiphany: PEOPLE NEEDED HEALING! Healing from everything they were hiding from, sweeping under the rug, suppressing. And sexual energy was a big one.

So it didn’t matter if I was wearing a raggedy tshirt and bummy sweat pants or a fitted dress, “they” saw me, felt my aura because they knew that I held a safe space. A space for them to talk, release, be free, and be seen.

I am a Human Vault, Keeper of Stories and Secrets and I’m not ashamed to say that Blanche Devereaux is my favorite character and probably some of yours’, too. 💛💜

“She Ain’t Coming.” | Good Girls Review by Phette Hollins

Annie and her ex, Gregg, got together to celebrate that their former daughter Sadie is now going by Ben. I love that they’ve incorporated this trans storyline and are accepting of him.

Gregg brought his wife, Nancy along, who is played by Sally Pressman of the short-lived show Army Wives. She announced that they’re in couples counseling and the therapist is blaming Annie’s brokenness and dysfunction as the reason for her husband’s lapse in judgment when they slept together.

The convo was hilarious. Gregg, ol punk self, played by Zach Gilford, appeared on my radar when I saw him on the show Friday Night Lights, which was a damn good show.

Annie was not for the shit. She was staring at him so tough she could’ve burned a hole in his soul. He couldn’t even look at her.

She and Gregg still have feelings for each other but he’s unhappily married with a newborn baby and trying to save face, like so many people do when they’re not living authentically.

Dean’s mother moved in very temporarily to help out around the house. Why is the narrative that in laws don’t get along? When I was married, I got along swell with mine🤷🏾‍♀️

The girls went to pay their respects at the site where the FBI guy was killed. Annie’s lack-of-good-sense-having self pours out some coffee for her “dead homie.” Ruby side-eyes her, in typical fashion and tells her that’s not how it works.😂🤦🏾‍♀️

Stan and Ruby can’t seem to catch a break. Guess the writers gotta keep plugging away at this to give Ruby motivation to stay on the illegal path.

Ok, so, I understand when it comes to Beth there’s some naivete mixed in with desperation, but just because someone is fresh out of prison doesn’t mean one should trust him to aid in shady dealings. Not feeling the way that was incorporated into the storyline.

Who didn’t see Dean and the flirtatious coworker coming? Again, permission for Beth and Rio to fling it up again, perhaps.

I waited all episode for Rio to make an appearance. When I saw that there was only 3 minutes left, I knew the moment was coming. Beth was scheduled to meet up with Rio’s baby mama, who is played by Jackie Cruz from Orange Is The New Black. I knew she wasn’t gon’ show up. Then, as they showed Beth’s face, a voice off screen said, “She ain’t coming.” My heart dropped. Beth’s face was like Whoopi Goldberg’s in the movie Ghost. Good cliffhanger.

We All May Be Black But We Are Not The Same, Girlfriend | Cherish The Day | Review by Phette Hollins

Ooohhh weeee. I love me some new beginnings. Moving to a new place, getting a new car, a new job. But nothing says fresh start like getting with a new (wo)man.

I can see why it’s called the honeymoon phase, though. Everything is beautiful and wonderful and perfect and cute and sweet…until they’re not. Those things that you once overlooked or thought were tolerable now get on all of your nerves. Not just one nerve but ALL!

I’m almost 98% sure that in my past life I was a detective of sorts. Maybe a private eye or something. I’ve always been so inquisitive. I am fascinated by human behavior, why people do the things they do. So when I meet new people, I’m all in. Not in an intrusive way but in a wanting to get to know the person better kind of way.

I always say, you can’t understand where a person is coming from if you don’t know where they come from. How was he raised? Who raised him? Where is she from? Does she have siblings? Stuff like that.

The first two episodes focused on Gently James (played by Xosha Roquemore) and her story which, sidebar, I was today years old when I found out that (in real life) she and LaKeith Stanfield have been in a whole relationship since 2015 😮 Clearly I don’t stalk him enough. She’s known for her roles in The Mindy Project and Lee Daniels movie Precious. Her most memorable line is when she said her favorite color is fluorescent beige. HAAAA😂

But tonight’s episode turned up the heat a teensy-weensy bit by giving us a soft introduction of Gently mother via recorded messages and a phone conversation. We can already tell that she’s a lot to handle and start to see how that has affected Gently, who is still looking for love, acceptance and validation from her.

In the first episode when we meet Gently and Evan (played by Alano Miller), it’s presented to us immediately that they’re from two different worlds. He is Ivy League educated with a career in tech, drives a Tesla and makes beaucoup money. She didn’t go to college, takes care of the feisty Cicely Tyson as a job, and has to borrow her dad’s car (played by the typecasted, philandering Michael Beach). I’m still mad at him for leaving Angela Bassett for that white woman in Waiting To Exhale and for sleeping with the cousin in Soul Food. 😂

We finally get to meet Evan’s peeps. It’s his parents 40th anniversary and he takes Gently with him. His daddy is Professor Oglevee from the 90s hit show The Parkers and his momma is none other than Anne-Marie Johnson, known for her roles in the 1988 movie I’m Gonna Git You Sucka and that old cop show In The Heat of the Night. She was aging gracefully but after meeting her son’s new tenderoni, she added a few wrinkles to her forehead LOL.

It’s bad enough Evan has to hear his friend talk junk about how Gently isn’t his type and not good enough for him because she’s just a ghetto chick from the hood. His mom didn’t make it any better. She went IN! Told him he needs to grow up, make mature decisions and not be concerned with some “low class piece of ass.” 😮 Repeat after me CLASS-IST.

His dad wasn’t fazed. The liquor had him feeling mighty nice.

So now we see that EVERY family has their own set of issues and money doesn’t fix that.

After Gently overhears the momma dogging her out, Evan is like, let’s get out of here, baby and go lie down outside on the ground by the highway until morning time. Hella romantic💜

Another sidebar, in real life, Alano is married to the equally hot and sexy DeWanda Wise, known for her role as Nola Darling in Spike Lee’s Netflix series She’s Gotta Have It. Like, who knew? Just fine’ness every where.

The episode ended with Evan telling Gently that he loved her, after dating for only three months. At first I was like, wayment. Slow down little red Corvette. Isn’t that a bit too fast? And then I asked my joyfriend if he remembered how soon into our relationship that he told me he loved me (because, like Evan, he said it first🙂🤗). Come to find out he told me in like two weeks. Soooo… I can’t be over here judging smh. Shame on me.

Lastly, the song that stood out for me is called Whoa by Snoh Aalegra. Check it out and let me know whatcha think.

Until next time…

Why ‘Good Girls’ Makes Me Wanna Launder Money & Not Be Ashamed About It | Review by Phette Hollins

First off, dripping episodes is so passe’. Like, who wants to wait a whole week for another episode to drop? What sick, controlling person wants to torture me, I meant, us – the fans, like that?

It doesn’t help that I became a fan of this show well after it had aired and ended up binge watching Season 1 on Netflix in just a few days. Would’ve been shorter than that had I not had to go to work smh🤦🏾‍♀️ But if I was washing dirty money I wouldn’t have had to trade time for dollars and go in to that gat damn job😂. jk. Kinda. LOL. OK, let me stop with all the dramatics.

On a semi-serious note, I feel their pain, though. Folks be out here following all the rules, doing the right thang and still have trouble making ends meet. Just because I make $20 an hour doesn’t mean I don’t need food stamps. Food is expensive shoot, especially the healthy stuff. There are single dudes with no kids getting $600 on a bridge card and here I am with one kid and don’t qualify. Make it make sense.




At my last job, I worked full time, paid $300 a month for insurance and still had to come out of pocket every time I went to the doctor. PLUS, I would receive a bill in the mail.

So, I can totally see why Ruby, Beth, and Annie chose a life of crime to get ahead, especially Ruby.

Her daughter has a kidney disease and the meds aren’t covered under her insurance. I already told yall about my old sucky insurance. Add a serious illness to that when you’re barely getting by makes it a billion times worse.

Even though the girls got into laundering haphazardly, if I wasn’t such a punk I would do it, too. Because, it’s hard out here for a pimp.

The last episode of Season 2 left off with Rio, the drug dealer and Beth’s fling, getting shot. They wanted us to believe he was dead but, of course, I didn’t fall for it. I grew up watching the stories when someone would get shot, stabbed be gone for a few episodes and come back on crutches, like, really?! 😂

The main reason why I knew he wasn’t dead is because he makes the show. Periodt! There are countless interviews on the world wide web discussing how women are enamored by him. And I know this to be true because it’s me. I am women.

He has a swag about him. Couple that with his raspy voice and you get panty dropping. ijs 🤷🏾‍♀️

Prior to this show I didn’t know who he was. Apparently he was on a show called Graceland. Not to mention he’s of Mexican descent and I have an odd obsession with Hispanics, which stems from my childhood days living in Newark, New Jersey. Majority of my friends were Puerto Rican and I just thought they were the beautifulest specimens on earth.

I recall a time I cried as I asked my mother why she didn’t wait to have me because, at that time, she was dating a fine, Puerto Rican guy name Charlie🤦🏾‍♀️ I assure y’all that I love being Black. I was a kid. I ain’t know no better. LOL. Anyhoo, I digress.

I knew Rio wasn’t dead and I’m glad they didn’t make us wait until the end to reveal what I already knew. So the shenanigans will continue.

Beth’s crazy arse done went and befriended Rio’s baby’s mama because she thinks she killed him. Lawd. Her and Rio had a saucy but brief fling, and I was here for all of it.

Yeah, Beth is married BUT her husband was on some bull shiggity for a minute. No, two wrongs don’t make a right but I’m biased here. Her husband Dean, played by Matthew Lillard, I cannot take him seriously. I just can’t. I tried and am unable to can. Every time I look at him I still see the tall, lanky, goofy dude in Scream and Scooby Doo.

Seeing him as a grown, married man with kids is a joke to me. HA! So, I was all for the steaminess between Beth and Rio…UNTIL it turned out his mouth is reckless and he’s mad disrespectful. That put an end to that fantasy.

I know the writers are trying to portray him in a certain light but sometimes they miss the mark. One minute he’s sweet as pie and the next he’s calling Beth a bitch. Realistic? Hmmm, maybe. Perhaps.🤔 But there’s no rhyme or reason. No in between. Basically, he needs more backstory.

Beth’s sister, Annie (played by Mae Whitman) is my next favorite character. Why? Because her life is in shambles. She is a mess and I can relate. She has a teenage daughter, Sadie, who is actually a transgendered boy in real life, that she had when she was a teen. I love their transparency. They’re practically growing up together, similar to me and my oldest daughter (who’s almost 27).

There’s a scene about a Llama. Y’all gotta watch it to get the full effect. But Sadie asks Annie about this random dude who showed up at their front door. Turns out, Annie slept with him some time ago during one of her wild nights. In so many words, Sadie likens her mom to a Llama, saying that she’s thirsty for attention and gives it freely to anyone who has a pulse (I added that last part). That hit Annie in the gut and she knows she gotta get her shit together, expeditiously!



Annie and Ruby provide the comic relief. They’re always going at it because to Ruby, Annie is immature and an airhead and she has no problem letting her know so.

The girls are shown at their regular, schmegular jobs, looking normal and miserable but soon as the sun sets and the street lights come on, they’re practicing the art of making counterfeit money. On some next level ish. Even got the man at the pay advance store in on it.

New characters are introduced and one character has been deaded (in my New York accent. Another obsession). You’ll have to watch to find out.

Until next time…

Even with its attractive cast, The Photograph doesn’t quite capture the chemistry like its ‘Love Jones’ counterpart| Review by Phette Hollins

Dropped: Valentine’s Day 2020

Written & Directed by: Stella Meghie

Music Composed by: Theee Robert Glasper

Produced by: Will Packer, who brought us This Christmas, Stomp the Yard, Think Like A Man, and Girls Trip

Mae, played by Issa Rae, is on a quest to find out more about her mother who dies and leaves behind letters, photos and some unanswered questions. The journey ultimately helps Mae not only learn about her mom but also find herself.

Along the way, she meets smooth-talking, charismatic, Son of sultry Michael Block, played by LaKeith Stanfield. I came across LaKeith back in 2016 when I used to watch the show Atlanta. I knew then he would be a big star. He went on to play in Get Out as the dude who gets kidnapped in the beginning walking through the suburbs at night.

The Similarities

  • Jazz music – Both movies do a good job incorporating jazz into the story.
  • Photography – In Love Jones Nia Long is a photographer; in The Photograph the basis of the story is about Christina and her love of images.
  • Rebound – Both movies portray characters just getting out of a relationship and hopping right into another one.
  • Long distance – Both movies touch on whether or not a long distance relationship is doable.

What Didn’t Jive

  • Issa Rae – Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Issa Rae. I credit her for inspiring this middle-aged black woman that I can create shows and content without permission, thanks to her show Awkward Black Girl on YouTube. However, she doesn’t exude sexy and, because of this, I found it hard to believe their “chemistry,” thus love story. She looked, for lack of a better word, awkward 🤷🏾‍♀️ I can see KeKe Palmer or even Nicole Beharie playing the part.
  • The friends – Lisa Nicole Carson played the shoot from the hip, tell it like it tiz friend to Nia Long in Love Jones as did Isaiah Washington to Larenz Tate. The sidekicks in The Photograph were pretty much irrelevant, served no purpose.
  • Courtney B. Vance – Again, irrelevant. I’m trying my best not to include any spoilers but, trust me. He’s unnecessary. LOL.
  • Underdeveloped characters – everybody needed more backstory, just a wee bit.

What Did Jive

  • Lil Rel Howery – His comic relief was on point, just like in Get Out. He’s funny and looks good with the weight loss.
  • LaKeith – PERIODT!
  • Brown skin – I love seeing brown skin magnified on the big screen.
  • The music – From Al Green to The Internet’s ‘Hold On,’ I was all in.
  • Cinematography – The shots and scenes were beautiful. One of my favorite scenes is of Issa and LaKeith walking outside after the storm. It’s a nice shot.
  • Y’lan Noel and Chante’ Adams – Now, their chemistry was FIRE! Flaming hot. Shout out to Chante’ from here (Detroit, MI). You may remember her from the biopic Roxanne Roxanne.

Overall, I thought the movie was OK in some elements of its portrayal of Black Love but lacked the lustful, fiery, sexy chemistry that Nina Mosley and Darius Lovehall captured so believably and brilliantly.

W.I.P. = Work(s) In Progress | Phette Hollins

What am I working on? 🤔 I think it’d be easier to ask what am I not working on😂 As far as projects go, last week, I was hired to write someone’s memoir. I am super geeked up about that. She has an AMAZING story. OMG! Juicy, jaw-dropping type-a story.

Also, I finished scripting a skit & casted the actors on yesterday. So I’ll be filming that soon. I’m designed to be working on many things at a time, to combat restlessness & boredom; however, the bigger task I’m learning is not to leave so many unfinished projects.

I’m doing this by only undertaking tasks, projects, stuff that light me up. Make me feel yummy. So when an idea comes to my head, I sit with it for a few days, ask myself some questions. If after a few days I’m still excited about it then I forge on. If not, I don’t bother.

What are you working on?

#writer #screenplay #skits #movies #films #indiefilms #writerforhire #books #independentmovies #phettehollins #storiesfordays #blackwriter #blackwoman #blackwomanwriter #femalewriter #drama #dramedy #romcom #romance #psychologicalthrillers #horror #writer #memoir #biopics #blackfilms

Get A Spiritual Reading, Get Your Life | Phette Hollins

I know some folks aren’t into the woo woo, mysticism stuff and I’m not here to convince you otherwise. However, I am a storyteller, a sharer of stories. One of my roles, my purpose in this life is to share my experiential experiences with the hope that it helps someone 🤷🏾‍♀️

I posted it on Medium. Read the article HERE!

Have you ever had an astrology, spiritual reading? If so, what was your experience? If not, would you consider it?

Get To Know Me | Phette Hollins

In an attempt to be more consistent and present, I posted video clips to my Instagram stories titled 3 Get To Know Me Facts. Here they are if you wanna check em out.

Absolutely Nobody:

Me: 3 Get To Know Me Facts:😂

1. I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 14 years old.

2. I used to have the biggest crush on Idris Elba back in 2006. So much so that I wanted to name my 13-year-old daughter after him.

3. I have over 20 tattoos. I legit stopped counting 🤷🏾‍♀️ To be totally transparent, while I do love body art, I got the majority of my tattoos bcz I didn’t know how to effectively process pain & confusion. It was an outlet for me, similar to those who turn to drugs, alcohol, food, & sex. When I was frustrated I would go get a tattoo. When I was mad, sad, or just plain ol bored I would get a tattoo. I’m a huge advocate of personal growth & development. It wasn’t until I started my healing journey 7 years ago that I began making the correlation between my behavior & my traumas. Now, I get tatted for a different reason, not for escapism.

Do you use stories on Instagram?

Why it’s important to know who YOU are | Phette Hollins

Heeeyyy,

Just wanted to share with y’all a Facebook LIVE video I did that talks about the importance of knowing who you are so that you can show up in this world as the best version of yourself.

Many of us could avoid certain jobs, relationships, situations if we were clear about who we are. Period.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

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