[video] How to get what you want | by Phette Hollins | #abandonmentissues #lawofattraction

If you want to know why it is that you’re not getting the things that you want and how to shift that A.S.A.P., check out the LIVE VIDEO I did last week on my Facebook page. I was told that it was pretty good.

‘I May Destroy You’ Finale | Review by Phette Hollins | #sexualassault #rape #stealthing

Let me breathe first because, whew! There’s so much to unpack in this show. I’m not big on small talk so I’ma just dive right in.

The first episode follows Arabella, played by the amazingly talented Michaela Coel, who created, wrote, directed, and stars in the show, as she struggles to complete the draft of her second book. She’s tempted by all types of distractions and finally caves by going to a bar with her friends.

Higher than ten kites, she gets date raped. The rest of the episodes throughout the season are of her trying to remember who do it and, also, how to cope.

To her publisher, her behavior is erratic and unacceptable as she keeps stalling with her draft. But, she is hella traumatized. Her “relationship” with her douche-bag of a boyfriend fizzles. She joins a support group, tries painting and a few other things to cope with the pain.

One of the things she does to numb her feelings is by having sex with a guy, who ends up violating her in a major way when he removes his condom during sex, without her knowledge or consent. This adds to her already deep trauma.

We learn in the second to the last episode that she finally remembers who date raped her. Over a period of days, she goes back to the bar to jog her memory because a perpetrator always returns to the scene of the crime.

This is when it gets gooder LOL!

Michaela’s brilliant ass gives us THREE ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS! They were the perfect blend of transmutation and the shadow self.

To transmute is to change from one form to another. For instance, turning our pain into power, our trauma into triumph, our lessons into blessings. Like, how Mary J. Blige took all of what she went through with K-Ci and her ex-husband Kendu and transmuted those into heartfelt songs. Or how Beyonce’ took the lemons from Jay Z’s philandering and literally made Lemonade (one of her best albums, in my opinion).

Everyone has a shadow self. A dark side. ALL OF US!! But, most of us keep it hidden, suppressed. our persona (ego self), the face we show the world, is usually not the real us. It’s the “nice” us. The politically correct us. You’d be amazed to see how people truly are behind closed doors, away from the world, hidden.

The beauty happens when we can incorporate the shadow with the light for a blend of melodious harmony. No one is all bad just like no one is all good. One cannot exist without the other. Where there is dark there is light. Up, down. Front, back. Left, right. Easy, hard. Polarities are all around us.

But, because we’re taught to pretend and hide those things that are deemed “bad,” or go against our society, our culture, our family, we judge those who outwardly portray what we assume should be hidden. A sexually liberated woman, for example. We like sex but can’t talk about it.

Sex is natural. Sex should be enjoyable. Sex connects and bonds. Yet, we don’t talk about it. Can’t talk about it. We’re taught that sex is bad. Then we wonder why priests molest young kids. They’re sexually frustrated. Suppressing our sexual desires is unnatural, except, UNLESS, your desire is to violate kids then, in that case, suppress that shit.

When we suppress our negative energies and anger instead of transmuting it and channeling it another way, we blow up from bottling it in, which can result in abuse, violence, and even murder.

Have you ever been so mad that you could spit fire? Have you ever imagined smacking or punching somebody in the face? Or worse? Would you admit it if you did?

Have you ever seen the movie Enough with Jennifer Lopez? The one where she left her abusive husband, learned how to protect herself and killed him in the end? We clapped like hell. Why? Because there’s something within us who (secretly) loves revenge. If it weren’t for laws, rules, and regulations, many of us would be acting like we’re in the movie The Purge. TV shows and movies provide a great escape because they get to act out our shadow selves while we stay on the right side of the law.

So, when Arabella tricks her rapist into fake date raping her so that she and her ride or die friends could set him up by injecting him with the drug AND then fatally beating him to a bloody pulp, my initial reaction was that of excitement but quickly turned into disbelief. Somehow it seemed over-the-top, unreal. Turns out, it was. Then came the second alternative ending. I was like OMG! THIS IS DOPE!!!

In this scenario, she imagines the rapist opening up to her, sharing his trauma, his backstory. The why behind his behavior. WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!! I’d never seen anything like this before.

Those who know me in real life know that I am a Human Vault, Keeper of Secrets. People share all of their deepest, darkest secrets with me. And, because of this and my gift of clairsentience, I’m able to understand why an astute businessman with a loving wife and 3 kids, who all sit in the third pew at church every Sunday, cheats. One of my sayings is “You can’t understand where a person is coming from unless you know where he comes from.”

Arabella comforts her rapist as he cries in her arms about coming from generations of abusers. The imagined ending ends with police arresting him AND, following close behind, is the beat up, bloodied version of himself (from the first alternative ending) that was tucked under Arabella’s bed. Carrying in his hand was a clear plastic bag that housed an ultrasound and soiled clothing from a miscarriage she had. All symbolic of her releasing the pain, the trauma, the baggage that was keeping her STUCK.

She finishes her book and publishes it independently, alas transmutation.

[Video] ‘I May Destroy You’ Episode 8 | Review by Phette Hollins | #michaelacoel #sexualassault #stealthing

Watch on YouTube

Episode 8 Review

Chakra Series: The Solar Plexus Chakra |by Phette Hollins

Hey now heeeyyy.

Today is all about the Solar Plexus Chakra. This is Part 3 of 7 in the video series.

How are you liking the series so far? Leave a comment below.

The Solar Plexus Chakra

The Solar Plexus Chakra

[Video] What is a Life & Story Coach? | by Phette Hollins

After toying around with the idea for yearrssss, I finally got the hint and decided that resistance was futile 🤣

I’ve been on a healing journey for seven years but on a life journey for at least 15.

We all get to a point where we ask the simple yet most elusive question in the world: “What is my purpose?”

Some of us know the answer very early on. While some folks, like me, take longer.

Though I pegged myself as a Short Story Specialist (because of my love for writing short stories, skits, and vignettes), sometimes, I tend to make short stories long (hence the video below)🤣🤷🏾‍♀️. I’m full of paradoxes. It’s all up and through my Astrological Chart LOL.

Here’s a not-that-long video I did talking about my newfound “title” and how I hope to show up and be of serve(us) to folks.

If you need help finding what it is you’re meant to do in this world, check out inHer Soul Sessions, a.k.a. an Intuitive Dive where I use some of the tools that helped me solidify my role and what to do with my life to help others 💛💜.

Check out the video HERE!

Chakra Series: The Sacral Chakra |by Phette Hollins

Hello there. Welcome to Part 2 of the 7-part Chakra Series, which consists of short videos explaining the chakras and their roles in our lives.

Enjoy!

The Sacral Chakra

The Sacral Chakra

Chakra Series: The Root Chakra |by Phette Hollins

Heeeyyyy,

Ok, so, this is Part 1 of a 7-part-series about chakras, which consists of short videos explaining what chakras are and their roles in our lives.

I hope it helps. Let me know what you think.

Until next time…

The Root Chakra

The Root Chakra

this is only a test…

i’m testing to see if my blog will go directly to my fb page.

[Audio] REAL TALK: The truth about why you’re standing in your own way | by Phette Hollins

I shared this meme on my Facebook page the other day and it got me to thinking about my own life.

I know it’s easier said than done, but we must not take things personally. The book The Four Agreements by Don Juan Miguel really helped me understand this.

Everything starts in our minds, so we must be careful what we tell it and what we expose it to.

We’re all telling ourselves a story BUT…the problem is it’s often filled with negative ones: we’re too fat, not pretty, flat-chested, too dark, too light, bootie’s not big enough…yada yada, fill in the blank.

We internalize these things thinking that they’re true and it ⬇️ lowers our self-esteem and how we view ourselves. Which then leads to stress, depression, alcohol, drugs, sex, over-eating, gambling, etc. Anything that helps us numb the pain and not cope.

Sex was my drug of choice. The stories I told myself for many years were:

  • Dudes weren’t about shit
  • Everybody in the whole world were cheaters
  • I’m a commitment-phobe

So, my energy attracted unavailable people – emotionally & physically. Those who were in committed relationships and those who were married. Why? Because they were matching my energy.

Like attracts like. I had abandonment issues and was in and out of relationships. I was promiscuous through my teenage years up until late adulthood because of the things I internalized. Had I known what I know now, like, 99% of the people I gave myself to would not have been given the time of day, smh. But I see ALL THINGS as a blessing and a lesson.

Check out the live audio below on why you’re standing in your own way. Comment and share with folks you know who may need it.

Also, if you’re stuck trying to figure out your purpose and you want to show up so you can show out, go to: inHer Soul Sessions. We can guide you in the right direction.

Until next time…

4 Signs that it’s time to heal & get your sh!t together | by Phette Hollins

So, today, I did a thing. I went LIVE on my Facebook Business Page.

Usually, I go LIVE from my personal page because I get waaayyy more engagement on there. But, in an attempt to start thinking of things from a business lens, I did it there.

It was also my first time using StreamYard which was a lovely experience; however, I wasn’t able to see the viewers (if I even had any) or the comments.

Next time, I will stream to my personal page and share it to my biz page because, to me, the purpose of going LIVE is for engagement.

Anyhoo, one snafu don’t stop no show. Check out the replay and be sure to share it if it resonates.

Until next time…

Phette – Writer, Human Vault, Keeper of Secrets

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